TTBM #2 - Pointless Inventions

Have you ever been watching an infomercial and you can't help but say, 'Really? Who the fuck would buy that?' Well guess what, there are people in the world who are easier to sell than $1 pitchers at a wrigleyville bar. Last night I was watching TV at about 2a.m. and witnessed the king of all unbelievably terrible infomercials. The product was a censored soap dispenser for the kitchen or bathroom. The selling point was, "Are you tired of the germs on top of your soap?" The advertisement showed a lady pumping soap into her hand and growing angry at the amount of germs she happened to notice on her soap. Umm.......... What? I can tell you why nobody, not even the person with the worst OCD ever, would ever get tired of the germs on top of their soap. Not only does nobody notice these deadly germs, but most all people learned a little technique when they were about 2 that involves putting soap into one's hand, mixing it with water, and ultimately washing all the unwanted germs off the surface of the hands. I'll admit, I've gotten excited at the work my soap did before and gave my soap a high five for doing a fantastic job, but even then, the germs on top of my soap didn't really bother me. So anyone who decided they needed this product, I hope your hand washing experience is that much better knowing you had a few less germs on your hands before you washed them all off. Was it worth it? I hope this tiny garbage can dispenses just the right amount of soap, because god forbid you don't spend the $30 dollars to be a little lazier.

- Stay classy Chicago.